Working out is really, surprisingly working out well

All my life, I have been obsessed with being thin. I was happy, but always wanted to weigh a little bit less, have the curves in the right places though - basically I wanted to be lean, but with curves at the same time. And I was always slightly disappointed with my body. Not so much that anyone would notice, but still, always there. That all changed when I got pregnant with Lexi. Suddenly, I had this amazing body that could carry a baby in it - it was amazing! And I didn't have to worry about being thin, because heck! I was pregnant, buddy! It felt great just to be me, and not really freak out about if my jeans fit, because really, they all had elastic waste bands anyway. Along with that came the I can eat what I feel like train of thought - not such a good idea when after I had her, the weight didn't just disappear! I felt the same when 4 months later, I was pregnant with Sydney! And then, after that, with Austin! Now, with Austin, I really had learned my lesson from Lexi - I needed to eat better. So, I only gained what I needed to with him, and it came off about a week after I had him. Now I need to work on getting rid of the extra weight from the previous pregnancies! But really, I don't care about weight now. I have four goals: One, fit in my wedding jeans, which are the jeans I fit in when I got married. Two, run the Pear Blossom for the 5k - and run the whole way. For me this is a big goal, because I hate running. I'm trying to change that perspective, one mile at a time. Three, successfully complete p90x - which involves two things: One, all 90 days working out. Two, being able to do 15 of each kind of push up, wide, military, regular, and at least one pull up without a chair! And the fourth goal is the Portland Sprint Triathlon in August - 750 m swim, 20k bike, and 5k run. I don't have times to beat, I just want to finish it! All of these goals give me the ultimate benefit - a healthier me. I have stopped caring about being skinny. I want to be strong, strong from head to toe (my toes will be doing curls!) I need to be tough to keep up with these kids of mine - I'm greatly outnumbered! I want to be able to push my body to be stronger, faster - not worry about the number on the scale. I would say I'm not doing this for anyone else, but that's a lie. I'm working out for me, yes, but I'm also doing this to be a stronger mom, more active with my kids. I'm also doing it to look hot for my husband! But ultimately, to have a sense of satisfaction in setting and finishing my goals, and I really miss my jeans! So good luck to me!

Kind of cheating....

So I feel like I'm kind of cheating on my blog, because these aren't my original thoughts, but they are two poems that have been going through my head today. The first was in a book of poems I had as a little girl.
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow…

For children grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs, dust go to sleep;

I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.

I feel like my days are just so full of the cleaning and fussing, and griping about how I can't wait for them to be big enough to leave me alone for 20 minutes! But then I look at how Austin is already changing so much, and then I look at Lexi and Sydney and see how big they are already. Lexi can put her shoes on by herself. She can get things out of the fridge and put them back. She's going on the potty already! And I want to rewind to when she was a baby and I could rock her to sleep. Sydney is talking more and more, which I love, but sometimes I actually miss those late night feedings with just me and her and the house so quiet at 2 am. So today, when they get up from their naps, my housework can just pound sand.


This is a poem my mom has on her wall, and I love it - She also has a plaque with this funny ugly little lady on it that says "Housework makes you ugly"

I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.

I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

Oh boy, there are days where I really feel like this! Everything that comes out of my mouth gets repeated, so the days of the cuss-slip are over!! Now it's all internal :) And from my mouth you get things like cookie crumbles and biscuits!

What's 2 + 1 = ? Really full arms!

It's been 4 weeks since little Austin arrived - all 10 pounds of him! Since this is how I looked before I had him



It still came as a bit of a surprise that he was THAT big! So the story:
I woke up Tuesday morning to some contractions, which wasn't a surprise because I had been having false labor for almost 2 weeks, so I was more annoyed by them than anything, because I thought they were faking me out again. I figured they'll either keep going or not, so I decided to make banana bread. About an hour into it, the contractions were getting stronger and closer, so I called my sister Jan who dropped her schedule for the day and came right over, only to drive me to the hospital an hour later! My thinking at first was that at the hospital I could at least labor without kids hanging all over me! When we got there though, it was a good thing we left when we did, because my contractions went to about 2 minutes apart! Checked into the hospital, Dr. Tomlinson came in and guesstimated his weight at 8 1/2 lbs - so I said I didn't want an epidural. If I had known his actual weight, I think I might have been a bit more freaked out about it! It got pretty intense after they broke my water, and man did it hurt! But I knew what was going on - and I was prepared for it - more so than when I had Lexi or even Sydney, so I just breathed through and dealt with it! About 8 hours after my contractions started I delivered him after about 3 sets of pushes! Plus side to that - it was over fast. Downside - his face was black and blue because it was fast!

He had his first BM while he was still inside, so it was pretty gross when they broke my water, but the plus to that was the RT (respiratory therapist) was already there, which was really good considering the cord was wrapped around his neck (contributing to the blueness) so when he didn't breathe after they cut the cord I didn't really freak out because I knew he was in good hands (and the best equipment!) My strongest memories from labor are how glad I was to have such a great support group in there with me! My sister Jan was a rock star - she seriously could be a labor coach, she was so calm and soothing for me :) Also having my my in-laws Tracy and Nicole in there with me was awesome - two nurses! I also remember when I started pushing Kevin's face looked so horrified/grossed out that I yelled at him to get away - move next to me so I couldn't look at his face - it freaked me out! And then, when his head was out the Dr. was trying to twist his shoulders/unwind the cord from his neck and so they were telling me not to push. Well, anyone who's been in labor knows that your body is pretty much taking over, and it's doing what it needs to in order to get the baby out - not pushing is pretty dang hard! Tracy got in my face and told me to pant so that I didn't push (otherwise, he could have broken his shoulder or collarbone, or ripped me up pretty bad.) Now, when I hear the word "pant" I think of Lexi acting like a puppy, so I automatically stuck my tongue out and panted like a dog!! I only did it for about 3 seconds before I realized what I was doing, but it's on tape, and it will forever be there!
All in all, I really couldn't have asked for a better labor and delivery - I had a huge baby without hurting him or myself in the process (well, aside from the bruising.)The bruising went away after about a week, and now he is just so dang cute!









He's such a mellow baby - he just goes along for the ride with his sisters who just love him - a little too much sometimes! We are so blessed to have these beautiful, healthy and happy babies, and love being parents. Even with the throw up, dirty diapers and 2 am feedings!

Phrases

So until I can post the fun and gory details of my labor and delivery of Austin Craig, here is a list of phrases from that time that are sticking out in my mind the most.

1. Oh, snap this really hurts!
2. You don't mind interns do you?
3. Kevin if you answer that phone during one of my contractions again and you are within reaching distance I will punch you.
4. No, I don't WANT an epidural!
5. Okay, I think I want some IV meds now.
6. @$%#^&$%^@#$^*&*)()(%^^%%%&* (Okay, that part was internal, but I admit, it was there!)
7. Kevin, you have to move I can't stand the way you look so horrified!
8. Push! Wait, don't push! *sob!*
9. He's out!
10. He's huge!

I'll end the list there for now :) I will post the whole thing in a few days!

A Monday List

I haven't blogged in a while. Sorry. But I figure, it's the start of a new week, so I will try, try, try again and we'll see how long it lasts. Because there are lots of little things on my mind, I'm just going to make a list.

1. The only guaranteed time that I will get to have to myself the entire day is in the morning, when I take my shower and blow dry my hair. And the morning usually starts one of two ways - Kevin leaves for work and I make myself get out of bed before the girls wake up so that I won't feel guilty and rushed. Or, Kevin leaves for work, I hear feet hit the floor, followed by "Mommy? Where are you?" Then I make myself get out of bed, sneak past their door and into the bathroom, fingers crossed that she won't get lucky and be able to open the door by herself. Then I feel guilty and rushed. Either way, it kind of sucks because I have to get out of bed.

2. I made 7 quarts of salsa today. I'm just now finishing the cold pack process, and I'm really glad I didn't burn it.

3. I made a pouch sling today. Still shaking my head over the fact that I paid $40 for my first one, that I think got stolen, and that's why I can't find it and why I found the pattern online and made a new one that cost me $10 and an hour of my time.

4. Pretty sure that our GPS got stolen at the same time.

5. I'm completely in love with my husband. I don't tell him that as much - I say I love you, but I need to remember to tell him that I'm nuts about him too.

6. I changed 9 cloth diapers today.

7. I Helped Lexi and her "babies" Tigger and Puppy use the potty today. Once, I had to sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes holding Sydney, reading books to all 4 of them. If I didn't show the pictures, Lexi said "Mommy! Puppy didn't see!"

8. Washed, dried, folded and put away 5 loads of laundry today. Heck yes.

9. I have watched Wonder Pets more than I care to keep count of. Even Kevin keeps whistling the theme song for it .

10. I hate to throw away food, even when it wasn't that great and I know it will probably rot in the fridge because no one will eat it, I just can't bring myself to throw it away after I've made it.

11. I have eaten 8 mini Twix bars since I brought them home from Target at 6pm - that's like eating 2 1/2 of the full size candy bars. Darn you mini's for making me feel like I'm not eating much.

12. I have an OB appointment tomorrow. I will just say that the baby must be gaining weight like a champ because I have no idea where these pounds are coming from! (Refer to #10)

13. I have 7 weeks left ( I hope, I hope, I hope that it's not more!) until my due date and I feel like a walking barn. It used to be a walking house, but that invokes images of a cute little house with shutters and flower boxes. Nope, now it's a barn....with a cow in front.

Potato Bug

So this morning while Sydney took her nap, Lexi and I went outside to play and pull weeds(which, to a kid I've discovered pulling weeds is like playing! Yay!) I'm really glad I was wearing gloves (in order to squish the unsuspecting but grody looking spiders that randomly run out) because then THIS came up out of the ground, like some freaky alien ant/bee/grasshopper.

It's called a potato bug, Jerusalem cricket, spawn of Satan, bald devil fetus and earth fetus - to name a few nicknames! They are basically pretty harmless, live under ground, and are omnivores, so both bugs and plants are on the menu.
So what did I do when I pulled up the weed and the potato bug came crawling out? What any normal (relatively) mom would do - I called for Lexi to come and look at it while I tried to keep it from disappearing back under the overgrowth and then potentially dig itself far far away from me! Lexi stared at it with a mix of interest and revulsion, but wouldn't get close enough to really look at it, so I ran into the house and grabbed a mason jar to trap it. Then she really looked at it and man was it interesting! Those things are so freaky looking, but I don't want her to have bug phobias, so I introduce bugs at every possible opportunity, along with teaching her how to squish the bad ones.
All of this leads to my story with the potato bug when I was 16. One summer I worked for a couple in our ward at their ranch, doing whatever they had for me - weeding, cleaning, hoeing, etc. Basically manual labor at its finest! One day I was weeding up this big patch of ground, when my hoe brought to light a potato bug! It wasn't like the picture, this one had been underground so long it turned into an albino, so it was very pale and HUGE, like 4 inches long I kid you not. Just like Lexi, I stared at it with fascination and revulsion, until I decided I needed to get back to work, and it was just going to keep grossing me out. So I chopped at it with my hoe, but it only separated the front from the main body and here is the super gross part - the head turned on itself and started ripping the body (the part with stripes) apart with these ginormous mandibles!! I almost threw up, but then just chopped it into little bits (sadistic I know, but it went against the laws of nature!) and covered it with dirt and went on about my day - not to really be thought about until we found another one this morning. To be nice, we let it go and covered it up with dirt, partly because I don't want Lexi to be sadistic and squish bugs just because they look gross, and also because I didn't want to throw up if it ate itself like the last time! Lexi then ran off to her sandbox and I decided I was done with weeding for the morning.

Happy Things

Since last night, and then all throughout this day, I have been thinking about things that make me happy. Isn't it funny how just thinking about the things that make you happy, can actually make you happy? It started last night, when Sydney woke up at about 10:30, so I got her a bottle and went in the girls' room to tuck her back in. As she lay there drinking her bottle with her eyes closed I rubbed her cheek, and then she reached up with both chubby little hands and just held my hand (pinky in the left, index with the right) just happy to be close. Of course I had to get her out of the crib and snuggle her for about 10 minutes after that! So I think that will start my list
1. Snuggling with my girls after they've gone to bed and are half asleep. I sneak in their room all the time and just watch them sleep, and I can never resist picking them up and rocking them.
2. Hanging out on the couch with Kevin with our legs wrapped up watching a movie, tv, playing a game, heck I don't care what we're doing as long as we get some 1 on 1 time!
3. Watching the girls learn new things, whether it's Lexi being able to jump off of something and not get hurt, or when Sydney learns a new babble or when she figured out how to play peekaboo.
4. Showing Lexi bugs for the first time - she thinks they are really cool now.
5. Doing my nails. I really enjoy being able to give myself a manicure and a pedicure - I like going to get them done too, but there is something really relaxing about the whole process when I do it myself.
6. Plucking eyebrows - weird, I know, but I like to pluck other peoples brows - not mine because well, it hurts and I always get a little obsessed with them.
7. Baths, but only in big tubs, like my sister Tiff's or in my parents claw foot tub. Any other ones just make me feel ginormous and chubby.

There are about a billion things that make me happy, but for now that's all I have time for, because it's late and I need to hit the hay - Oh! That's another one!
8. Clean sheets (which I just put on my bed) and a freshly made bed......ahhhh.....