Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Working out is really, surprisingly working out well

All my life, I have been obsessed with being thin. I was happy, but always wanted to weigh a little bit less, have the curves in the right places though - basically I wanted to be lean, but with curves at the same time. And I was always slightly disappointed with my body. Not so much that anyone would notice, but still, always there. That all changed when I got pregnant with Lexi. Suddenly, I had this amazing body that could carry a baby in it - it was amazing! And I didn't have to worry about being thin, because heck! I was pregnant, buddy! It felt great just to be me, and not really freak out about if my jeans fit, because really, they all had elastic waste bands anyway. Along with that came the I can eat what I feel like train of thought - not such a good idea when after I had her, the weight didn't just disappear! I felt the same when 4 months later, I was pregnant with Sydney! And then, after that, with Austin! Now, with Austin, I really had learned my lesson from Lexi - I needed to eat better. So, I only gained what I needed to with him, and it came off about a week after I had him. Now I need to work on getting rid of the extra weight from the previous pregnancies! But really, I don't care about weight now. I have four goals: One, fit in my wedding jeans, which are the jeans I fit in when I got married. Two, run the Pear Blossom for the 5k - and run the whole way. For me this is a big goal, because I hate running. I'm trying to change that perspective, one mile at a time. Three, successfully complete p90x - which involves two things: One, all 90 days working out. Two, being able to do 15 of each kind of push up, wide, military, regular, and at least one pull up without a chair! And the fourth goal is the Portland Sprint Triathlon in August - 750 m swim, 20k bike, and 5k run. I don't have times to beat, I just want to finish it! All of these goals give me the ultimate benefit - a healthier me. I have stopped caring about being skinny. I want to be strong, strong from head to toe (my toes will be doing curls!) I need to be tough to keep up with these kids of mine - I'm greatly outnumbered! I want to be able to push my body to be stronger, faster - not worry about the number on the scale. I would say I'm not doing this for anyone else, but that's a lie. I'm working out for me, yes, but I'm also doing this to be a stronger mom, more active with my kids. I'm also doing it to look hot for my husband! But ultimately, to have a sense of satisfaction in setting and finishing my goals, and I really miss my jeans! So good luck to me!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Kind of cheating....

So I feel like I'm kind of cheating on my blog, because these aren't my original thoughts, but they are two poems that have been going through my head today. The first was in a book of poems I had as a little girl.
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow…

For children grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs, dust go to sleep;

I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.

I feel like my days are just so full of the cleaning and fussing, and griping about how I can't wait for them to be big enough to leave me alone for 20 minutes! But then I look at how Austin is already changing so much, and then I look at Lexi and Sydney and see how big they are already. Lexi can put her shoes on by herself. She can get things out of the fridge and put them back. She's going on the potty already! And I want to rewind to when she was a baby and I could rock her to sleep. Sydney is talking more and more, which I love, but sometimes I actually miss those late night feedings with just me and her and the house so quiet at 2 am. So today, when they get up from their naps, my housework can just pound sand.

This is a poem my mom has on her wall, and I love it - She also has a plaque with this funny ugly little lady on it that says "Housework makes you ugly"

I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.

I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

Oh boy, there are days where I really feel like this! Everything that comes out of my mouth gets repeated, so the days of the cuss-slip are over!! Now it's all internal :) And from my mouth you get things like cookie crumbles and biscuits!